I knew..

better. But, it was still a true statement and even as it came out of my mouth I was still shocked by it. "We've had lots of wet pants accidents, but never anything more." "Really?" My friend replied. "We have".

This week that statement has rung in my ears- twice.

Pride comes before a fall and children provide the stumble.

Editor's note: The most important tool to have in your arsenal before children? a good washer and dryer.

Guess who...

is a professional flower maker??

Not this girl... but Captain America, my husband.



Don't hide your light under a bushel, my dear, the fondant flowers on future birthday cakes are all yours.

Cool!

May's Book Review

Okay, where to begin? I shied away from this book for approximately two years. In my circles, it was controversial and I began to view it as the spanking handbook for parents. I attempted it no less than 3 times and never made it more than halfway through. (My first attempt was when Madeline had just turned a year old; coincidentally this was I began to refer to her as "Mad" in earnest ..... Ha, Ha)

Tripp uses Scripture as his springboard and particularly the verse from Proverbs 4: 23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life". The truth that we are all sinful from birth includes children and parents and therefore, we must rely on the gospel to help us face the worst in ourselves. Grace is powerful.

I never viewed parenting in this way. Tripp talks about how we notice the need for correction when behavior is not as we would like. But the correction of behavior is not changing the heart; it is merely cleaning the outside of the cup. Phariseeism. Or is it Pharisaism? Whatever, a little grace please....

He challenges all the "goals" I have as a parent; providing good interaction, positive peer relationships, involvement in all the "correct atmospheres" and boils it simply down to the heart. Are we teaching our children to love God or are we managing behavior, drawing pride from our children's accomplishments/ standing in the community, and teaching life skills that have nothing to do with eternity?

On whose authority do we act? We are held responsible to God for the upbringing of our children and therefore have his marching orders. This relationship is a temporary one (a man will leave his father and mother and become united with his wife), but the fruit is far-reaching. I must teach my children when I am tired, and want to abdicate to PBS. I must beg for their forgiveness, for though I act as God's agent, I am fallible. I must rely on strength outside myself for this job to be seen through, run the race well, and plead at God's mercy seat for my children. Nothing thus far in my life has exposed my sin quite so clearly as raising children.

Tripp extrapolates on unbiblical child rearing methods such as the "I didn't turn out so bad" (follow in my own parents footsteps), pop psychology, emotionalism, punitive correction, erratic eclecticism, and behavior modification. The last one is hard for me. He states, " Since the heart and behavior are so closely linked, whatever modifies behavior inevitably trains the heart. The heart is trained to greedy self-interest and obtaining rewards". I'd ask him isn't that true of all us to an extent? I want a roof over my head, so I work. I want to eat, so I work. I'd rather teach my child the joy of giving sacrificially of the blessings (monetarily or time) given to me.

That brings me to one of my frustrations with this book. It was written after years of counseling as a pastor, raising children, and teaching child rearing in seminars. I often found myself wishing for a outline and further discussion. I would LOVE to have the opportunity to study this with other parents and hash out specifics.

He goes on to explain discipline in depth, but it mainly boils down to a partnership of communication with your child and use of the rod. He covers them in depth, and I will not diminish the weight of his words here, but to say that many of my fears and objections were met in these chapters.

The 2nd half of the book breaks down child rearing into 3 divisions: Infancy to Childhood (up to age 5), Childhood (elementary school years), and Teenagers (puberty to adulthood). The crux of it is that as our children age we have more influence and less authority. This section is where the rubber hits the road, as the saying goes, and the practical comes into play for parents.

Overall, I liked this book because it gave me so much to think about. I like a book that introduces me to things that I have never considered. I found myself frustrated several times b/c I wanted to delve in and just sit with some thoughts, or write up a chart, or start up a new family "program". (I like rules...) But, parenthood will always require me to be at God's feet and seeking wisdom, and I can happily add this book to my nightstand as an assist.

Bonus: I have also been reading some Dobson "The New Strong Willed Child" (turns out Madeline is only moderately willed, and her mom is lazy..... DARN!) and his newest book "Bringing up Girls". Both good to ponder over.

June's book is Robert Murray M'Cheyne by Andrew Bonar. M'Cheyne was a pastor in Scotland in the mid 1800's, and gave me one of my favorite quotes:

" Ah! believers. You are a tempted people. You are always poor and needy. And God intends it should be so, to give you constant errands to go to Jesus. Some may say, it is not good to be a believer; but ah! see to whom we can go. "